Just Another Sunday...N O T !!!!!!!!

Well as you know, my CI is not a big fan of Sunday mornings. Notice I didnt say I...I said my CI. My CI does not like music at all. My CI does not like large crowds. Well let me tell you this, MY CI's working together DO like Sunday mornings. Did you catch the plural? Yessiree. Today was a good day. Today was the 1st Sunday of me going bilateral (meaning with both CIs' to church) And OMG! (thats oh my gosh!)Today we had the timpani and brass, full choir. Didnt register as we have had them before.Well let me tell you... the music started and I just about died right then and there. I mean BAM...the heavens opened up and this glorious sound came like I have never heard before. It was amazing! It was awesome. I was so emotional from hearing all this wonderful sound! I just can not put it into words! I looked at mother in law and she just held me while I cried like a baby. For 30 minutes I had to keep telling myself to breathe Karen, take a breath, in and out. For real!You have no idea how long I have waited to get my music back in me! I didnt hear the country screechin' choir trying to get the high notes. I heard this magnificent full church choir sing with all their heart and soul. Today was the last Sunday for our minister at our church. His last sermon that I heard in stereo. Such an emotional Sunday for me. I could write about my preacher but I wont since this is about cochlear implants. So back on track. I heard it all. I heard the music! I understood the music! This is such a big deal for me since this was one of my goals. All week long I was poor me working so hard to get where I was with one CI. Now the work has started again with 2. Honey...IM BACK! As I said before the heavens have opened up. Its my turn. Thank you. My audiologist told me that I would love having 2. She just knew it. She also told me there were no words to describe what hearing with two was like. Shes right. I cant explain it. Everything just makes sense. Its all clear. Its all good. Now dont get me wrong, I still have work to do but buddy...come on. Im ready for anything you got to throw at me.  :)  I was so tired from the service and such a nice meal afterwards that I slept the rest of the day. Next week when I go to church Im going to try and sing to see how I do. Im tempted to sing at the house and record myself but Im not. No more Row Row Row Your Boat for me! Im on to bigger and better stuff....Yeppers, today was a good day. A really good day. Thanks for sharing it with me....Karen

15 days post op

Well here I am at the 15 day post op mark. I seem to be healing nicely but I swear the process is taking longer this time. Still walking around wearing glasses with one side arm removed so Im walking around with broken glasses, old ones to boot that are just plain yucky lookin'. Im sooooo looking forward to wearing my black and purple ones again :).  My steri strips are still on and looking nasty. Cant pull them off as it is still a bit sore around incision. I still have a metallic taste in my mouth. Its more like a metallic strip on my left side of tongue. Dont remember having one like this last time either. I do hope it goes away soon cause my chocolate does not taste like chocolate and this here chocoholic is SUFFERIN'! lol   I just got an early birthday present from hubby. A flight booked to Denver to see my niece and her family. For those of you that dont know, this is a huge trip for me. It was my trip to Denver back in 2011 that opened my eyes on how "profound" my hearing loss was (hate using that word profound but it is what it is) I was in a new and different environment then what I was accustomed to and I was, to be honest, scared. I was frightened to what was going on around me or what not was going on around me. It was a scary feeling and at one time there was one moment that I will NEVAH EVAH forget. My niece asked me to watch her small son while she ran an errand and I panicked. I NEVAH EVAH panic. It was right at that moment that I decided when I got home, my hubby and I were going to have a serious discussion on what to do next and here I am, a bilateral CI wearer one year and 1/2 later. My how my life has changed over the year. I am so much more outgoing. I attend events I NEVEH EVAH thought I would attend. I am going out and about flyng solo to places unknown and truly luvin' my life. I am so blessed. Truly blessed. And on that note, I am out my door, droppin' the top on my car and doing my errands. Have a great blessed day y'all and again, thank you so much for you kindness, patience and support while I adjust to my new life.

Munchkinland!

Well day 2 in Munchkinland has come to a close and day 3 is beginning. I have decided that not only does everyone sound robotic and mechanical, everyone is a munchkin! You know the munchkins from OZ? In trying to find the humor (so I wont cry anymore) I think of my husband as a munchkin? When my 1st CI was activated he was a duck. But a munchkin? For those of you that dont know my husband, he is not a munchkin, far from it! Its hilarious when you think about it. Here we are talking over  dinner and hes sounds like a munchkin. Ya gotta laugh.Well, back to yesterday. I woke up and had a pity party for myself. I was told to wear only my new CI for a bit so my brain would train itself to it or whatever the techno term is so I did. I couldnt hear a thing! I was back to being a lip reader. I sent hubby off to work (somebody has to work to pay for this thing ! :)) Sent him to work, put on both CI's and went visiting my mom in law for 1st time. Of course when she opened the door, saw it was me and those gracious warm arms opened up and just hugged me while I cried. She knew I was in for more work. She knew she was needed. I love that woman and am so blessed to have her in my life. Well pity party has officially started. Yes, I am blessed. Blessed as one can be. I should NOT be feeling this way. Its like 18 months down the tubes as I have worked SOOO bloomin' hard to make my 1st CI work. Now IM back to square one and a bit worse. I know I shouldnt feel this way but I do. I leave her house, come back home, hit the mattress and cover myself up with my sheets and nap the afternoon away. In waking up, I looked in the mirror and told myself "thats enough, put on your big girl panties and deal with this" thus turning into this super being with cape (and tiara). I WILL WIN THIS! I am ready to work hard and make the best of this wonderful and beautiful gift that has been given me. So here I am in the wee hours of the morning ready to start my day. Ready to watch the sun come up (afterall I slept the day and night away) and count my MANY blessings. So you guys sound like lil munchkins to me. I laugh on the inside at my own private images. I do hear, I havent a clue what it is I am hearing now but I do hear...in surround sound   :)  Have a great day y'all and count your blessings, I know I will!

Activation Day !!!!!

Well here it is 12 days post surgery from going bilateral. WHAT WAS I THINKING?????? Did I honestly and truly want to hear in stereo? Was I missing out on anything without having surround sound?  Well, let me tell you. Today was activation day and I had mixed feelings about the whole shebang. When I got hooked up the first time it was awful. It was soooo loud and everyone sounded so mechanical. Robot like and like ducks. So I went in there thinking , here we go again. Well guess what? I was right in assuming the worst as IT WAS! Everything I thought about and experienced with ear one happened with ear two. Meaning, I HEAR ROBOTS AND DUCKS AGAIN! But thats ok, I know it will get better in time. ITS GOTTA! lol Anyway, the drive down to Charleston today, I turned up the radio loud, popped in one of my CD's so on the way home, I can listen to the same song with one ear, two ears and compare the two. AINT NO COMPARISON! It was awful. I AINT LYIN! But I know it will be better. Meredith (my super duper audiologist) said to wear only the new one so I did that in the car on the way home. I didnt recognize any of the songs on that CD! I keep telling my self it will get better as I love ear one. Well Meredith put me me in the booth and she was so excited because she said I scored in the normal range and was so impressed I scored as high as I did first time out. I posted it here so you guys could see my score. Let me know what you think? Is it pretty good? lol  After I left Meredith I went for a stroll in the hospital thinking I knew all the sounds...WRONG. I hear the dings of elevators, all the lil electrical noises I know are there were louder and I caught myself looking around. Caught up with my kids and ate lunch, placed my own order and headed back. I still have my steri strips on my incision and Im ready for them to come off. My kids who will rename nameless and who were asked not in front of the other lol
refused to take them off of me saying they were on for a reason and will come off on their own. I WANT THEM OFF NOW! But I still have them on :( Thats today in a nutshell. Im tired, my head hurts and Im going to bed. NIGHT ALL! Oh I might add here that I met a friend in person today that has a new implant that I met earlier online....I was right, we did hit it off and we were meant to meet :)  Cant wait to meet again and compare notes and she is getting her 2nd CI in a couple weeks.

The Journey Continues...Going Bilateral

Here I am once again, preparing to hang on and enjoy the ride of my journey. As many of you know by reading my blog, the decision to go bilateral was not an easy one. For you newbies out there, going bilateral means getting a second cochlear implant. I will now be hearing in stereo. Surround sound :). Surgery date, May 29, 2013. Im going into the OR calm cool and collective. Im ready. MUSC is wonderful. Touch base with a friend who works in the surgery preop and catch up. SO glad to see her again as she has wedding pics to share. Drugs are pumped in, and do not remember a thing. Wake up and am taken home. Although I have soup and crackers at the house, hubby insists that we get the chicken noodle soup from Chick Fil A as he heard that it was best. It was. Got along fine from the surgery, no nausea and slept most part for 3 days. Stayed with my wonderful kids and was most comfortable. Watched 3 movies before realizing no closed caption. Havent a clue what they were about as I was still in a drug induced coma lol . Wore a glascock like I did last time and removed it with some help and everything looks good. To give you an idea what I looked like, think Princess Lea in Star Wars. but one sided lol . No swelling and bruising like last time. So I stayed with the kids, got along really well and having the surgery on Wed, hubby and I decided to travel back home on Sat. Trip was yucky as we were in the truck which you felt every bump but couldnt be helped as we were pulling a trailer. Tried to sleep and did most of the way home. Arrived home, went to bed and slept some more only to be awakened to dinner. Hubby has been a real trouper tending to my needs. We ate lunch out daily or should I say, he brought food in and last night was no different. I am still real dizzy and a bit wobbly so no driving yet for me so I must depend on him for all our needs and so far, he has not disappointed. Will attempt to go to the store today to stock up on things. Also planning on going to church and a concert this afternoon. Bandages have been removed and now have steri strips for the next 10 days. Not sure how people will look at me while doning this new look but I need to get out and about. Might put on a hat... Pain is subsiding a bit and I only take a pain pill at night when I go to bed. Activation date is June 10th. Cant wait.

Here We Go Again!!!!!

Well the decision has been made and I am starting to get ready for my upcoming surgery to have my left ear implanted with a cochlear. When I first made the decision to have my right ear implanted, the decision was an easy one. Why? Because I had no alternative. I have a "profound" (dont you hate that word... profound?) hearing loss and hearing aides would no longer help me. So, the decision was made. But now? Now I do have a choice with the 2nd and the decision was not an easy one and one that I did not take lightly. All along my objective with the first implant was to hear. I do hear. Now the question is, is it worth loosing what hearing I have in my good ear to clip the hearing I have an replace it with a cochlear? This means I am totally deaf when I remove my receivers. Well my audiologist tested me with my hearing aid and I scored 7%. Out of a possible 100%, not good. So the decision was made and I have started the process. As I am writing this, I have decided that the hardest part about the surgery is forgoing my meds for 2 weeks before surgery date. Now for those of you that dont know me, I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. Going without my meds is possibly the worst part of this process. This past week has not been an easy one for me. I am living in what they call a "fibro fog" I am having trouble completing tasks, remembering to do things and it is SO NOT ME! So far I have forgotten a drs appt. Something which I NEVAH EVAH do, I went for my pre op appt on the wrong day, which I NEVAH EVAH do! Since I traveled 2 hours, and as always, MUSC in Charleston was so accommodating to my needs. From the front desk to the nurses to Dr. Lambert his ownself who came out between surgeries to talk to me. Anyone and everyone should go to MUSC! Speaking of which, <sidebar>did you know that the hotels located close to MUSC have rooms for the hearing impaired? Yeppers they do, so really Dr. Lambert is #1 in his field so please consider having your implant done there. Ok. SO in addition to screwed up appts, I was late picking up my MIL (thats mother in law for you non texters out there :)) I NEVAH EVAH am late! SO I trying extra hard to pay attention, complete tasks and be on time. My body is tired, Im achy all over and I am so ready to get back on my meds! Good thing is I am sleeping or I would totally be a basket case if not so thats a good thing! So Im ready to move forward with the surgery. No second guesses and I look forward to hearing a little bit better, to hearing in stereo and maybe getting a better balance to be in tune with my surroundings. So, I will update when things are over with and might even update with an before/after photo :)  Later all! Oh, thanks for reading. Its been good therapy for me to do this blog....Karen

Should I or Shouldnt I?

Should I or shouldnt I? That is the question. For the last several weeks I have been spending time thinking about getting a second cochlear implant in my left ear. Since my last visit with my super duper audiologist at MUSC, she suggested that I would really benefit from a 2nd CI. I just dont know. My goal with my first CI was "to hear". I do hear but I do not know direction of the sound that I am hearing. Make any sense?With the 2nd CI, I will have direction and I will also be able to hear /understand better in a larger crowd situation. I talked it over with friends and family members, made a list of pros and cons and still wrestling with this decision. I can hear. I had a family member tell me that I can make a list of pros and cons and keep adding to that list BUT she said that if I didnt feel it in my heart, a feeling of content in my heart with the decision to get a second CI then my list of pros and cons is null and void. Boy was this not great advice! Let me back up a bit...When I had my CI done, with this surgery all hearing is lost in that ear where the CI is implanted. What little hearing I did have was disconnected or what I like to say "clipped". To be honest, I could not tell a difference after the surgery at all while waiting to be hooked up to my unit. The point I am trying to make here is that I was scared of being totally deaf but I knew I could rely on my good ear to pull me through while waiting the 3 weeks after surgery to be hooked up to my unit. My good ear which is my left ear. For some odd reason I have a feeling that I can hear in my good ear.  Ever since my last visit with my super duper audio lady, I have conducted my own test and experiments.You know, to prove them wrong that I can hear and all. Well, I have taken my unit on and off, put myself in different situations and I have come to the realization that I can not hear in my good ear and that I am deaf! Do you know how hard that is for me to accept? I dont know why but it just is. Now, with the 2nd implant all wires so to speak will be "clipped" and I will be totally deaf when not wearing my receivers (units). Will I be able to survive when I am not wearing my receivers? What will I do when I sleep? What will become of our "pillow talks" with my hubby? (Insert here...hubby says," what pillow talks, you cant hear me and you fall asleep BEFORE I do! ) What will I do at the pool when I swim and take my water aerobics class. Will I be able to depend on my lip reading? So many questions. I have prayed for devine guidance. Well ya'll. I have to say, I have taken the advice of that very wise family member. I have tossed out my list of pros and cons and have followed my heart. I bet you are wondering what I have decided. Let me tell you a story first of something that happened to me. I was out on a date where we went dancing.There I was doing a slow dance with my soul mate when it came to me. I had this warm feeling encompass me then on Sunday morning in Sunday school, that feeling came to me again. It was a feeling of comfort, a warm fuzzy feeling and I knew then that the decision had been made. I am going for the 2nd implant. I feel a load has been lifted. I am ready to hear in stereo. As I am writing this I am tearing up as I am overwhelmed with this decision. I have emailed my super duper audio lady to get the wheels in motion. I also am waiting to hear if my insurance is going to pull through and help me financially with this second CI. So my dear friends, I would love for you to continue this ride with me as I again go through the process of entering the world of hearing in STEREO! As always, thank you for reading my blog and supporting me. PHEW! This is great therapy!