Activation Day !!!!!

Well here it is 12 days post surgery from going bilateral. WHAT WAS I THINKING?????? Did I honestly and truly want to hear in stereo? Was I missing out on anything without having surround sound?  Well, let me tell you. Today was activation day and I had mixed feelings about the whole shebang. When I got hooked up the first time it was awful. It was soooo loud and everyone sounded so mechanical. Robot like and like ducks. So I went in there thinking , here we go again. Well guess what? I was right in assuming the worst as IT WAS! Everything I thought about and experienced with ear one happened with ear two. Meaning, I HEAR ROBOTS AND DUCKS AGAIN! But thats ok, I know it will get better in time. ITS GOTTA! lol Anyway, the drive down to Charleston today, I turned up the radio loud, popped in one of my CD's so on the way home, I can listen to the same song with one ear, two ears and compare the two. AINT NO COMPARISON! It was awful. I AINT LYIN! But I know it will be better. Meredith (my super duper audiologist) said to wear only the new one so I did that in the car on the way home. I didnt recognize any of the songs on that CD! I keep telling my self it will get better as I love ear one. Well Meredith put me me in the booth and she was so excited because she said I scored in the normal range and was so impressed I scored as high as I did first time out. I posted it here so you guys could see my score. Let me know what you think? Is it pretty good? lol  After I left Meredith I went for a stroll in the hospital thinking I knew all the sounds...WRONG. I hear the dings of elevators, all the lil electrical noises I know are there were louder and I caught myself looking around. Caught up with my kids and ate lunch, placed my own order and headed back. I still have my steri strips on my incision and Im ready for them to come off. My kids who will rename nameless and who were asked not in front of the other lol
refused to take them off of me saying they were on for a reason and will come off on their own. I WANT THEM OFF NOW! But I still have them on :( Thats today in a nutshell. Im tired, my head hurts and Im going to bed. NIGHT ALL! Oh I might add here that I met a friend in person today that has a new implant that I met earlier online....I was right, we did hit it off and we were meant to meet :)  Cant wait to meet again and compare notes and she is getting her 2nd CI in a couple weeks.

The Journey Continues...Going Bilateral

Here I am once again, preparing to hang on and enjoy the ride of my journey. As many of you know by reading my blog, the decision to go bilateral was not an easy one. For you newbies out there, going bilateral means getting a second cochlear implant. I will now be hearing in stereo. Surround sound :). Surgery date, May 29, 2013. Im going into the OR calm cool and collective. Im ready. MUSC is wonderful. Touch base with a friend who works in the surgery preop and catch up. SO glad to see her again as she has wedding pics to share. Drugs are pumped in, and do not remember a thing. Wake up and am taken home. Although I have soup and crackers at the house, hubby insists that we get the chicken noodle soup from Chick Fil A as he heard that it was best. It was. Got along fine from the surgery, no nausea and slept most part for 3 days. Stayed with my wonderful kids and was most comfortable. Watched 3 movies before realizing no closed caption. Havent a clue what they were about as I was still in a drug induced coma lol . Wore a glascock like I did last time and removed it with some help and everything looks good. To give you an idea what I looked like, think Princess Lea in Star Wars. but one sided lol . No swelling and bruising like last time. So I stayed with the kids, got along really well and having the surgery on Wed, hubby and I decided to travel back home on Sat. Trip was yucky as we were in the truck which you felt every bump but couldnt be helped as we were pulling a trailer. Tried to sleep and did most of the way home. Arrived home, went to bed and slept some more only to be awakened to dinner. Hubby has been a real trouper tending to my needs. We ate lunch out daily or should I say, he brought food in and last night was no different. I am still real dizzy and a bit wobbly so no driving yet for me so I must depend on him for all our needs and so far, he has not disappointed. Will attempt to go to the store today to stock up on things. Also planning on going to church and a concert this afternoon. Bandages have been removed and now have steri strips for the next 10 days. Not sure how people will look at me while doning this new look but I need to get out and about. Might put on a hat... Pain is subsiding a bit and I only take a pain pill at night when I go to bed. Activation date is June 10th. Cant wait.

Here We Go Again!!!!!

Well the decision has been made and I am starting to get ready for my upcoming surgery to have my left ear implanted with a cochlear. When I first made the decision to have my right ear implanted, the decision was an easy one. Why? Because I had no alternative. I have a "profound" (dont you hate that word... profound?) hearing loss and hearing aides would no longer help me. So, the decision was made. But now? Now I do have a choice with the 2nd and the decision was not an easy one and one that I did not take lightly. All along my objective with the first implant was to hear. I do hear. Now the question is, is it worth loosing what hearing I have in my good ear to clip the hearing I have an replace it with a cochlear? This means I am totally deaf when I remove my receivers. Well my audiologist tested me with my hearing aid and I scored 7%. Out of a possible 100%, not good. So the decision was made and I have started the process. As I am writing this, I have decided that the hardest part about the surgery is forgoing my meds for 2 weeks before surgery date. Now for those of you that dont know me, I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. Going without my meds is possibly the worst part of this process. This past week has not been an easy one for me. I am living in what they call a "fibro fog" I am having trouble completing tasks, remembering to do things and it is SO NOT ME! So far I have forgotten a drs appt. Something which I NEVAH EVAH do, I went for my pre op appt on the wrong day, which I NEVAH EVAH do! Since I traveled 2 hours, and as always, MUSC in Charleston was so accommodating to my needs. From the front desk to the nurses to Dr. Lambert his ownself who came out between surgeries to talk to me. Anyone and everyone should go to MUSC! Speaking of which, <sidebar>did you know that the hotels located close to MUSC have rooms for the hearing impaired? Yeppers they do, so really Dr. Lambert is #1 in his field so please consider having your implant done there. Ok. SO in addition to screwed up appts, I was late picking up my MIL (thats mother in law for you non texters out there :)) I NEVAH EVAH am late! SO I trying extra hard to pay attention, complete tasks and be on time. My body is tired, Im achy all over and I am so ready to get back on my meds! Good thing is I am sleeping or I would totally be a basket case if not so thats a good thing! So Im ready to move forward with the surgery. No second guesses and I look forward to hearing a little bit better, to hearing in stereo and maybe getting a better balance to be in tune with my surroundings. So, I will update when things are over with and might even update with an before/after photo :)  Later all! Oh, thanks for reading. Its been good therapy for me to do this blog....Karen

Should I or Shouldnt I?

Should I or shouldnt I? That is the question. For the last several weeks I have been spending time thinking about getting a second cochlear implant in my left ear. Since my last visit with my super duper audiologist at MUSC, she suggested that I would really benefit from a 2nd CI. I just dont know. My goal with my first CI was "to hear". I do hear but I do not know direction of the sound that I am hearing. Make any sense?With the 2nd CI, I will have direction and I will also be able to hear /understand better in a larger crowd situation. I talked it over with friends and family members, made a list of pros and cons and still wrestling with this decision. I can hear. I had a family member tell me that I can make a list of pros and cons and keep adding to that list BUT she said that if I didnt feel it in my heart, a feeling of content in my heart with the decision to get a second CI then my list of pros and cons is null and void. Boy was this not great advice! Let me back up a bit...When I had my CI done, with this surgery all hearing is lost in that ear where the CI is implanted. What little hearing I did have was disconnected or what I like to say "clipped". To be honest, I could not tell a difference after the surgery at all while waiting to be hooked up to my unit. The point I am trying to make here is that I was scared of being totally deaf but I knew I could rely on my good ear to pull me through while waiting the 3 weeks after surgery to be hooked up to my unit. My good ear which is my left ear. For some odd reason I have a feeling that I can hear in my good ear.  Ever since my last visit with my super duper audio lady, I have conducted my own test and experiments.You know, to prove them wrong that I can hear and all. Well, I have taken my unit on and off, put myself in different situations and I have come to the realization that I can not hear in my good ear and that I am deaf! Do you know how hard that is for me to accept? I dont know why but it just is. Now, with the 2nd implant all wires so to speak will be "clipped" and I will be totally deaf when not wearing my receivers (units). Will I be able to survive when I am not wearing my receivers? What will I do when I sleep? What will become of our "pillow talks" with my hubby? (Insert here...hubby says," what pillow talks, you cant hear me and you fall asleep BEFORE I do! ) What will I do at the pool when I swim and take my water aerobics class. Will I be able to depend on my lip reading? So many questions. I have prayed for devine guidance. Well ya'll. I have to say, I have taken the advice of that very wise family member. I have tossed out my list of pros and cons and have followed my heart. I bet you are wondering what I have decided. Let me tell you a story first of something that happened to me. I was out on a date where we went dancing.There I was doing a slow dance with my soul mate when it came to me. I had this warm feeling encompass me then on Sunday morning in Sunday school, that feeling came to me again. It was a feeling of comfort, a warm fuzzy feeling and I knew then that the decision had been made. I am going for the 2nd implant. I feel a load has been lifted. I am ready to hear in stereo. As I am writing this I am tearing up as I am overwhelmed with this decision. I have emailed my super duper audio lady to get the wheels in motion. I also am waiting to hear if my insurance is going to pull through and help me financially with this second CI. So my dear friends, I would love for you to continue this ride with me as I again go through the process of entering the world of hearing in STEREO! As always, thank you for reading my blog and supporting me. PHEW! This is great therapy!

Just another Sunday?

Well y'all...I had the most incredible time at church this past Sunday. I was sitting in my pew getting myself ready to hear the word and all. I saw the handbell choir was set up to play and I didnt think twice about it. I still dont like to listen to music. Choir still sounds screechy, organ is yuck, piano is getting better so didnt really think about the handbells. I mean it just didnt register that I hadnt heard them before with my CI. Well boy oh boy....here I am sitting and all of a sudden the handbells start ringing. OH MY GOSH! It completely took my by surprise! I HEARD THE BELLS! Almost having my CI a year (Jan 3rd of 2012 was hook up date) I kind of and this is bad to say but I am taking my hearing for granted now. Which I shouldnt. I heard the handbells! What an amazing awesome sound! Well I was so shocked and caught of guard that I let out a whelp and just started to boohoo right then and there! I was so loud and so overwhelmed I could just not contain myself. The beauty I heard! The bells! AWESOME! And what was soooooo puzzling to me is that I heard each and every bell being played. Why is that? A friend of mine who was sitting in front of me for sure was wondering what all the ruckus was about. He finally decided to turn himself around and take a look. He then realized what I was hearing and what was going on with me. Man oh man, I am forever grateful as he handed me a handful of tissue. Boy did I ever need it as the handbells played throughout the entire service! OH MY GOSH! I was completely blown away. Anyway, after the service, I was so excited that I had just to tell everyone I knew. I even went to the other building where we have a more contemporary service called The Fountain and had to tell them about it too! Oh my stars. I was going up to everyone saying I heard the bells! I know newcomers thought I was some kinda strange bird. It was fabulous! I might just have to join that handbell choir! Well, I came home, ate dinner and feel sound asleep as the morning festivities and activities plum wore me out! Oh man, God is good....

Still enjoying the journey...

Its been a while since I have updated my blog and I have a very good reason for NOT doing so....I AM TOO BUSY! I am so enjoying my life right now and find myself going here and going there and taking my time listening to all I can. When I went for my testing at MUSC (another big shot out to Meredith my audiologist) I didnt score all the great when put in an environment with others talking. She told me and I quote" Karen, you need to throw yourself out there, get out among everyone and everything" Unquote. Well that is EXACTLY what I am doing now. Before my cochlear implant, I was starting to withdraw away from people because I could not understand them, couldnt read them and was tired of the funny or strange looks when I gave off the wall comments. So, I am doing what Meredith suggested and Im "throwing" myself out there. I am going to concerts, musicals, the fair, dinners out in crowded restaurants and really trying to do it all. For the month of October, I worked daily at our Pumpkin Patch at our church. Everyday I went in at 9:30 and stayed all day give or take a shift or two of running errands and such. I had such a fun time at the patch that I didnt want to leave! The mornings were filled with young children who were coming to visit for story time and purchase a small pumpkin. We read stories, sang songs and did a few finger plays. Do you know how long its been since I have done that?!?!? I cant remember the last time I was able to hear a childs voice and actually converse with small children in a group setting! I surrounded myself with people I have never met and tried to converse. Just throwing myself out there and having a blast! How wonderful my days are filled with new sounds! I went to a fundraiser where we sat around a round table. I was able to talk across the table and I could tell you everything that everyone was saying! That was a first for me. It was all I could do to not tear up! We sat towards the back of the room and when the keynote speaker started her speech, lo and behold, I heard everything. Now that I could never do! NEVAH, EVAH! I now hear prayers with my eyes closed, speakers...you name it, I hear it! Life is good... Now, went back for my last checkup and I have improved! When I am listening to a speaker 1/1, Im in the high 90%! And in conversational settings I am slowly showing signs of improvement. I am pleased as I hope Meredith is also. Another thing that I am doing is going back and singing at the nursing home like I used to do. I still dont sing and I still dont like music but a friend of mine encouraged me to go back and sing. I decided that I would try and sing and no one complained. When I sang to the children at the patch, I knew they wouldnt complain so I went for it, but the nursing home? I did and I will continue to go. I decided like young children, they dont care....So, for me life goes on. If I dont update my blog for a bit, you know I am just too busy enjoying the life of hearing and that I am busy throwing myself out there. Hope your life is going well and let me "hear" from you!

And the band played on....

Well I have to tell you...I went to a band concert. Me! I was a bit leary of going but I decided to put on my big girl panties and give it a whirl! And boy I am so glad that I did! I went with friends of ours (add a big shout out now to Patty and Dave for being such gracious hosts on our visit) Patty played the flute and an electronic bass (not the guitar but the big fiddle :)) in the concert and it was fabulous! I heard Sousa marches and an Irish Jig that just made me well...jiggy! I heard a banjo, guitar, tin whistle, harp! I tried to focus in to hearing an accordian but couldnt quite make it out its sound. The piccolos and flutes were more enjoyable to listen to this go round then when I wore my hearing aides. Now overall music is still really not pleasurable for me but its getting there. I will continue to have patience but at times I ask myself, WWWHHHEEENNN! I am so ready. Im watching American Idol this season as an aquaintance of ours is singing, Elise Testone and last night Wallace a cousin of my BFF played on AI! How exciting is that! I did enjoy watching them and at times I heard Wallace play his electric bass (the guitar kind, not the fiddle like Patty). If you watch AI please vote for Elise. If you dont watch AI, please do, you are missing out on some great talent. I go back for another testing at MUSC and this time we will start testing on music. I for one am looking soooo forward to that! I will keep you posted on my journey but for right now Ill sign out so I wont bore you with anymore details. Hope all is well with you and Ill check back in with you soon as I have new things to report ~Karen